My last blog post was posted on June 10th. It has been 10 weeks and 76 days. During that time, as most of you know, I took an 8-week sabbatical to rest. In this post, I’ll provide some insight into why this was necessary and share a few things I’ve learned. Once I was back from sabbatical, I attended the Sovereign Grace Executive Committee retreat in Philadelphia. It was my first retreat as the acting chairman of that committee (more on that later).
Gratitude:
When the elder board asked me to take a sabbatical this year, I was initially reluctant. There’s just too much going on in the life of CLF for me to take 8 weeks off. But their persistent care for me won me over, and I now see their wisdom in giving me this time off. I am grateful that these men care for my soul and family, and before the warning lights on the dashboard start blinking, they perform preventative maintenance. I’m incredibly grateful to them for this.
I’m grateful for our church. As I suspected, our church grew relationally and in maturity in my absence. CLF, you not only supported this time away, but your prayers for us were felt and answered. My love for you has only grown while I’ve been gone.
I’m grateful to Luis Castellanos for faithfully preaching each week of my sabbatical (plus one). Luis is such a good preacher. But what stood out to me during his preaching was his pastoral heart toward CLF. He preached like a pastor of CLF (which he is). He did all of this while working a full-time job and being a faithful husband and dad. I know my stress load while doing this job full-time, and I’m amazed at Luis’s steadfastness, perseverance, and hard work. He will tell you that it was all God’s doing (and he would be correct), but Luis put in a long shift, and I’m humbled that he’d take this on for me.
Lessons from the land of rest:
This is my third sabbatical at CLF (2006, 2016 were the other two). The first two were for my family. This one was for my soul. I entered this sabbatical with many questions about myself. I’ve been struggling with some nagging issues in my soul. I won’t detail them all, but here are some: Why do I feel rushed all the time? Why am I stressed? Why don’t I take time off from work? Why do I sometimes doubt God? These and several more have been eating at me. It was time to hear from the Lord about my heart and life, and, Lord willing, make some necessary adjustments for the next season of life and ministry.
In this time of rest, I have listened to and read several books and sermons. Intentionally, I read books about time management and rest. I listened to sermons about indwelling sins that concerned me. I didn’t want to run from my questions, but rather allow them to dive deep into my soul.
Here’s a sampling of things I’ve learned:
- Not regularly taking time off is sinful. When I don’t take time off, it suggests that I’m in control and active, but it really reveals that I think I’m greater than God. If God took a day off to rest, and I don’t, I’m saying that I know better than God and I can do more than God. Those things are lies. Further, failing to take time off for rest violates the Creator/created-being relationship. God (Creator) has given me (created-being) a finite body with rules of how to care for this body. When those rules are violated, then breakdowns will happen (physically, mentally, relationally, spiritually). I believe this is why I’ve been discouraged, spiritually dry, and mentally exhausted.
- My unbelief and pessimism stem from forgetting God’s promised goodness. The sparrows are fed and lilies are clothed by the gracious hand of God, and “how much more valuable to God” are we! Why wouldn’t a good God give us good gifts? Will He not fulfill His promise to provide bountifully to us when we give bountifully to others? This is not presumption, it’s biblical faith. Psalm 84:11 promises that God withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly. I will admit that I believe some of my unbelief and pessimism stem from an overprotection from presumption. I, in no way, want to presume upon God. However, I think I’ve overreacted to this concern, and it’s led me down some unbelieving patterns and pessimism.
- A grid that the Lord brought to my mind to help me evaluate sinful actions, thoughts, and attitudes was to ask, “Does this thought, attitude, or action bring me faith, hope, love, joy, or peace?” This has brought enormous clarity to me. There have been times during my sabbatical when, for example, I began to think about something and I became anxious or upset. When I ran it through this question, I was immediately convicted and knew that I needed to change my thinking. I found myself engaging in prayer for various situations, which led to experiences of faith, hope, love, joy, or peace. I’ve realized that much of my time was spent dwelling on things that robbed me of one of those five things.
- Resounding in my mind and heart during my break has been 2 Corinthians 11:3, “But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” Luis’s preaching through Philippians has confirmed this to me. This sabbatical has renewed my desire to know Jesus and make Him known. It has stirred my heart to meditate more slowly and deliberately on Him and His word. It has also allowed me to have a “search warrant for the evils in my soul” (Spurgeon). I have found that I have made excuses for some of the sins in my life.
- That leads to my last point. I have lived a hurried life, and it’s time to slow down. When I was a little boy, I ran everywhere. My great-uncle told my mom that he never saw me NOT moving. I love to move. However, over the last 10 years, I have been hurried…all the time. I realized over the break that being busy was not my issue…being hurried was. I hope to do nothing in a hurry. Dallas Willard wrote, “We cannot do anything in a hurry. We can’t pray in a hurry. Can’t read in a hurry. Can’t study in a hurry. Can’t obey God in a hurry.” This is more than just slowing down. This is about a heart-level change in how I slow down. I need to ruthlessly eliminate hurry. What I have been doing on my break is taking more slow, deliberate times for bible meditation, prayer, and conversations. I hope that this will give me more time to reflect and make necessary adjustments.
As I step ‘back into the saddle’ this week, Lord willing, I will continue to apply the things I’ve learned. CLF, thank you for allowing me to have this break. I needed it and I’m praying that it benefits you as well.
SGC Executive Committee:
Many of you know that I serve on the SGC Executive Committee. Our duties are to serve our Leadership Team (the pastors who lead SGC) and oversee the budget and legal issues within SGC. What many of you may not know is that during my first week of sabbatical, I was voted in as chairman (that’s what happens when you can’t make a meeting). But in all seriousness, this was necessary because our faithful chairman, Ken Mellinger, who was diagnosed with Leukemia and another rare blood disorder a couple of years ago, took a turn for the worse in his health. As of today, Ken will more than likely pass away within the week. Ken led us remarkably well. He was insightful, pastoral, and wise. He wrote the policy manual for our board. Last week, we met in Philadelphia, which allowed Ken to stop by for 90 minutes. It was a joy to see him. It’s hard to believe that’s the last time I’ll see him on this side of heaven. I love him. He encouraged me as a leader and as a member of the ExComm. He is the one who nominated me to take his place. Needless to say, following Ken as the chairman is humbling and daunting (you know what they say about the guy who follows the legend).
Our meetings went very well. The Lord is at work broadly in SGC. The global expansion is exhilarating, and the unity among our churches is a joy. However, we want to grow deliberately and faithfully.
Cheap Seats (with pictures at the bottom):
- One of the fun things on our break was attending some MLB games and touring Fenway Park
- Jill and I took a tour of the White House! So amazing. We also went to Niagara Falls and New York.
- And, I’m a nut of Christian History. I like to find graves of Christian heroes of mine (not to grave suck😂) but to lay on the grave for a double portion of their anointing…just kidding. However, I find these grave sites truly inspiring. They tell stories of faithful people and of a faithful God. Two pictures are attached: David Brainerd and Jonathan Edwards.
Have a great week!
Christ is King!
In Christ,
Dave York
